The Choice is Yours

So, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news first? Ok, here it is ...We have the power to make our own choices in life and with that be the master of our destiny! The bad news is ...We have the power to make our own choices in life and be the master of our own destiny. Basically, what ever you are experiencing in your life right now...good or not so good...is a result of a choice you made. 

Now, before you start arguing with me that world events, disease, economic cycles, etc were not your choice...I will agree with that. However, your response and what you do as a result of those events IS your choice. Your response to any event (not the event itself) is what determines your outcome.

 

We make hundreds of choices every day. Some of these choices are minor like what to eat for breakfast or what outfit to wear. Other choices have the ability to greatly impact our lives and even change the trajectory we are on. Some choices bring success and others may bring on adversity or even failure. No matter the choice or the weight of it; every decision we make somehow alters our lives. First we make the choice and then the choice makes us. 

Our ability to make choices gives us freedom. It is a gift. If we can choose then we can determine. Choice allows us to pick where we want live, shop or eat. Who we will marry or not. Who we choose to spend time with and where will I go. Choice allows us to choose apple or blueberry pie and to ask questions of ourselves such as , Will I pursue a path that reflects my highest self or will I choose based on what others expect me to do? Right or wrong. Good or bad. Clear or unclear. The choice is always ours to make.

As children we could not wait to grow up and be in control! We dreamed about making our own decisions and not being told what to do! We saw the endless possibilities that would come with being a "grown up". We knew we would be able to go wherever we wanted and stay out as late as we wanted to eat or drink whatever we like. Our future was filled with hopes and dreams of what adulthood and independence would look like. It was exciting until we entered said adulthood and learned the possible consequences of our decisions. It was at that moment many of us checked out.

 

There are individuals who believe they have "no choice". They are ultimately giving away their freedom of choice and their power when they do so. If they believe that they have "no choice" in the matter then they can believe they have no responsibility in making the decision. (That in itself is ironically making a choice). 

Why would someone do that? Perhaps it is easier not to have to make the decision? Maybe it is safer or more comfortable not to move forward? There could be a dozen reasons why, but the decision is almost always based on a scale of pleasure vs pain. In other words, is it perceived to be more or less painful to stay or go, to say yes or no, etc. As counter intuitive as it sounds, we will usually make our decisions in an effort to move away from pain rather than towards pleasure.  

What makes us human and uniquely special is the fact that we CAN make choices. We have unlimited capacity to learn, rationalize and discern what the best course of action for ourselves is. We have the ability to look at a situation from more than one perspective and weigh our options. In doing so we can evaluate the concept of pleasure vs pain. If the pain of not making the choice becomes greater than the choice itself we will be motivated to change. 

Our future is based on the decisions we make today, yesterday, last month etc. Our choices have a compound effect on us. We do not wake up one morning 30 pounds heavier or $10,000 in debt or in an unhappy marriage. We arrive at those destinations one day at a time, one decision at a time. And we will come out of those challenges the same way we got in. One choice at a time.

Success works the same way. We can not look wistfully at a successful entrepreneur and want whatever perks or money they have today without looking at where they started and every decision they made along the way good or bad. Success is never a straight line from point A to point B.

Here is the question I am curious about? If so much of our future is determined by the choices we make why don't we spend more time determining our choices and reflecting on the ones we made? Why don't we look at all of our options more and consider things from all perspectives?  

I think one of the reasons is that we forget what has to come between choice and outcome. That something is action. When we take action for our outcomes we take responsibility and drop any blame of anyone else for what our outcome(s) were.

Here are some simple yet powerful questions to ask yourself that will immediately clarify your thoughts and help you to make the right choice:

1. Will this choice move me forward to an exciting future or will it keep me stuck? 

2. Will this choice bring me long term fulfillment or just short term gratification?

5. Will this choice empower me or dis-empower me? 

6. Is my decision an act of faith or an act of fear?

7. Who am I looking to please? Myself or someone else?

8. Is this decision in alignment with my values? my goals? my faith? my vision?